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Her third date with him happens around Christmas. Her favorite time of the year to get lost in New York city. Winter seems to her such a genderless time. It is impossible to tell little boys from little girls underneath their heavy coats and wrapt in colorless hats and scarfs. It makes her look at people in their all-consuming parkas and wonder, what if there’s no such thing as men and women? “As a gentleman,” he intercepts her glance, “I should drive you home.” They approach his parked Toyota on the street somewhere in Astoria, Queens. “Are you sure this is a legal parking spot?” she asks.
“Never mind that, let’s go for pizza.” She slides into the car with a voice on her head: what is a gentleman anyway? She can't tell why but feels her womanhood is violated. She has never dated anyone who isn’t an artist before. “Why don’t you quit your job?” He opens the car door for her after they pull up on the curb outside of her flat on First Ave in Lower East Side. Something feels wrong, she notices her right earring is missing. Oh, no! My mom gifted this to me when I was 18 years old. Her muscles tense up, she doesn’t have any mindspace to answer his seemingly ridiculous request. We barely knew each other! She screams in her head. She searches the earring under the car seat, the dark hair covering her pensive mood. “It’s for your own good, so you can stay at home to apply for your PHD.” He smiles, like the gentleman he imagines he is. She looks out the car window to search into his eyes, but it is overshadowed by his mediocre design of suit. “I never said I would go back to school for sure.” She raises her voice. He closes the door as she has no intention of coming out of the car. He walks back to the side of the driver's seat and opens his car door and rolls down the window but doesn't go in. She’s curious about his response. He casually lit up a cigarette and have a long inhale before he says that he figures this is what she wants as she’s feminist. She sees the smoke come out of his mouth and envashs into the air. She wonders what smoking does to his breath and health. He continues:” you know, if you love to go to school, I don’t mind!” He ducks his back to look for her face. She looks at him with a sneer of disgust: ” you don’t mind?” “Yes! I don’t mind!” He says it with a slight smile on his face that shows he is proud of himself for being so open-minded. “In fact, I think it is great, it’s great for the children.” He smears pride on his face, reminding her of the texture of greasy and sticky sauces that she dislikes. “He is a gentleman!” Her friend reminds her later that night when the two are sitting on the couch in her apartment. “And he’s an engineer! He’s perfect for you!” That is what her friend tells her about this person. After two more dates, he is still a stranger to her and nothing like her past or future lovers. He considers himself an open-minded and well-educated American and proud to be an engineer. After two month of dating, she sings to herself while she is washing dishes. I fall in a trap And lose my magic to write. I desire nothing Here I am still with an obliterated soul to cook for him Then, she leaves without any words.
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