LA a coffee shop The Balcony Company

​LA       a coffee shop   The Balcony Company

​1.
​            It has been three months since I graduated from my Master of Arts program at NYU. For the first time I feel adrift. I want to abandon dance, it seems to only offer the feeling of melancholy but nothing more. The feeling of despondency grows in me as I pace the dance floor. I even thought of switching careers to practice Law, but deep down we all know that’s my way of avoiding reality of a dreamer. It is getting harder to be a dreamer these days. Dreaming seems discouraged in this world, in this life. 

My life is the same old tale, a cliché of a dreamer chasing their dream. The same dream that I used to believe was going to have a happy ending. I have been crying days upon days, nights upon nights, without cessation. I have been evading the events of my life. I see obscurity only.
“Are you ready to give up a part of your soul?” Mom asked me. Her voice didn’t intimate support for my decision. Up to now, I had assumed her backing of my choices. I now felt an obligation to continue the dream for my mother. I told her that I was tired of running down dreams, then she said: “ isn’t that why dreams exist?”

2.
     I met Al in June, right around the time when I was considering giving up on dance. I saw his music video on social media which touched my heart like a wave of light. I found a male version of me, I thought. He plays like I dance, with delicacy. I asked him if I could dance to his heartfelt music one day. 
Then, I met him
Then, we danced
Then, we had aarzu (Here's a link where we performed Bint El Shalabiya for the students in the Arabic language department at Hunter College in New York). Bint El Shalabiya for the students in the Arabic language department at Hunter College
Then, life continued...


3.
Annah, the girl of my heart, ascended a 10,000 foot mountain with me. (Mt.Baldy) 
I thought I was on a journey of life. 
Although each passerby all had the same summit of the same mountain, each completed the trip with a different tenor.
The summit felt like a new beginning to me.
Once in a while Annah would throw a couple of hiking tips to me, and somehow they all sounded like life tips.
“Mind every step and take your time!” 
“Focus on your breath and just keep going!”
Never feel defeated by unknown futures and take time to experience every moment of living. Don’t dwell on your mistakes  and don’t forget  to live and to dream.
Don’t dwell on the past.